Tool Time

I'm Tim the tool man Tyler. I shall make use of my new toy.

Ok the lyric I wrote a while ago that I want to expand is below.

This clock, hanging on the wall
Tick Tock, to the beating of my heart
I wait, silent and alone
It got late, I've yet to hear the phone
Uh oh, this can only mean one thing

This is a verse I decided and i like it because of the rhyme at the front of the line. Its unexpected and it works. However thats all I have. So to try and expand this thing its story time.

I'm waiting for a phone call...an important one. Life altering. It won't alter my life directly but somone I care for. So I'm affected, I'm in the the thick of things. "I'll let you know tonight......it should only take a few minutes once I get home." That was 30 minutes ago, not long if she didn't work 5 minutes from home. Worry starts seeping in slowly in the tiny cracks in my resolve. Widened with every tick of the perfectly metered second hand. My emotion building to an unknown end. "Maybe she had to stop on the way home, or had a flat." A worrisome alternative that does little to push the worry back out the cracks. My calm exterior hiding the frantic effort to empty the leaky boat. My silence not casual disinterest but a conserted effort. Yet I maintain. 90 minutes. Something is wrong....very wrong. The dam is bursting. Slow leaks become torrrents. Possibly becomes definately. I shake uncontrollably, overwhelmed. Realization. 1. the making or being made real of something imagined, planned, etc. It sounds nothing like it feels. Maybe I'll write a feeling dictionary. Those little chart faces aren't enough and mirriam webster has it all wrong too. I have to fill my mind with something so I imagine her devestated. Its not a pleasant thought. She would be with her friend crying in her arms. The gap between my emotional state prior to the point of realization and after is immeasureable. And it doesn't directly effect me. The factualization of her worry surely knocked the wind out of her. Next I step through what I plan to say in an attempt at comfort. A vain attempt. Patching a masterpiece with ducktape. It always seems that bad news gets delayed. It catches all the red lights, balks at every opportunity. The longer you have to wait for the answer the worse it must be. Is this a negative outlook? Does anyone think, "I should have heard something last week, it must be good news." At three hour mark I feel a different pain. My concern shifts from the impending pronouncenment to the fact that it hasn't been pronounced yet. Why the delay? I suspected I was third in line to hear the news but that doesn't warrant a three hour wait. There is a subtle juxtaposition of hurt and pain that there hasn't been a call and shame and embarrassment for being so selfish. Now I imagine her collapsed on the floor. Hopeless, desperate and feeling alone. Her world has ended for all intents and purposes. Or maybe she's embarassed by the bad news and too chicken to dial the numbers. Well I can rule out one of those. My hands move over the keyboard with an air of practice. Straight to voice mail. I leave a message to call me back asap and decide I'm tired of feeling and drag myself off to bed. I sleep soundly waking earlier than usual, my body in tune with my mind. I check my phone. A text message emblazoned across its screen "Everything is fine. I AM SO SORRY I didn't call I fell asleep." I feel like sweet and sour chicken, she is ok, but she didn't call. Today one matters a whole lot more than another so all is forgiven. I'll probably get some extra sweet conversation the next few days. Is it because she feels bad for forgetting or her relief manifested in a good mood? I tell my self to stop analyzing and just enjoy the ride....I've always been a fan of rollercoasters.

There is the story. Now I need to extract from it lyrics. The best part is this. I'm at work kind of busy and a little drained from writting the story. But now I can go back and read it any time and get my head into the emotional state needed to write the lyrics, or so I hypothosize. We will see how it works. I'll update the lyrics I obtain using this method.

Cheers,
Tyler